Thursday, April 8, 2010

Wtf should I do?

What do you do when you are falling deeply for a guy who doesn't want a relationship? A guy who says he can't give or be everything you want/need/and deserve at the moment because his sh*t isn't quite together the way he'd want it to be. When and if he makes you his, he wants to come correct. Do you wait for him or move on?

Is the guy even being honest or is he straight up bullsh*tting you? Is he really taking your feelings and needs into consideration or is he letting you down easily?

Or is it the girl with the problem? Knowing this girl, it somewhat is. She never told the guy what she wanted from him or where she wanted them to go, she sort of caught feelings and got caught up a long the way, which is why she's in the predicament she is in now.

She made a decision the other day. She told the guy she would wait for him. Sounded and felt right that night. The next morning however she thought "wtf am I doing, this isn't me! I don't sweat no n*gga! either he wants to be with me or not." ... Then she sees his handsome face and hears his voice and she's thinks once more that he may very well be worth it, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. She told him once that she didn't like how her feelings for him were blossoming, and that she was ready to run and try to move on. He said that he'd run after her and for her to please not cut him off. There was a time when they stopped speaking because of an incident that had transpired between him and his ex, the girl's heart was broken. She avoided him for a while, he told her friend to send her a message saying that not having her there put things in prospective. He didn't realzize how meangingful she had become to him. He wanted her in his life.

Yet, he doesn't want to make her his. What's his angle? She feels unwanted, insecure, and confused.

It scares the fu*k out of her that sh*t could go haywire at any given moment. She likes certainty and control. It's her comfort zone.

But for once, just this once she wants to go after what her heart desires. His love. She wants him, all of him, real bad, but she's a punk. Her pride will be the end of her. It's too strong, she's scared sh*tless.

But the saying goes, it's better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all.